Therapy Journal Blog

12 May 2021: Opposition

12:45 AM Growing up in a religious home, I learned bible stories and gospel truths that guided my family’s way of life. I was taught from a young age that because of the Fall of Adam, there is opposition in all things. That part of God’s plan for us is for us to experience allContinue reading “12 May 2021: Opposition”

30 March 2021: Unseen

10:14 PM The loneliest feeling in the world is to feel unseen. Truly unseen. To have the knowledge that nobody really sees YOU. That nobody actually truly knows YOU. To have secrets…to wear masks…to shove the difficult feelings deep down because nobody needs to hear about your pathetic shit. And one of the saddest realitiesContinue reading “30 March 2021: Unseen”

8 March 2021: Due Date #1

9:42 PM Today I got up at 6:00 AM when my alarm goes off every weekday. I peed, packed the kids’ backpacks, emptied the dishwasher, made the beds, got the kids dressed and off to school/daycare. I went to work…spoke with a half a dozen insurances, had 2 initial consult meetings with potential clients, brokeContinue reading “8 March 2021: Due Date #1”

20 June 2020: Disclosure

***Warning: Possible trigger. Post contains description of abuse.*** 3:20 PM Sometimes I fuck things up pretty bad.  It’s like I can come up with the best laid plans for things to go smoothly…to get shit done…to work on the real stuff that really matters.  And then for whatever reason, this thing inside of me sabotagesContinue reading “20 June 2020: Disclosure”

12 June 2020: Corner Turned

11:26 PM Welp, here we are…getting back on the journaling horse.  I suppose I could transcribe my writings from when I was in the hospital…maybe someday I’ll find that worthwhile and get it done.  Maybe.   Today has been my first full day outside of the hospital.  It has been a good, productive day and IContinue reading “12 June 2020: Corner Turned”

5 June 2020: Sex? Sex.

10:26 PM I am so incredibly confused about everything.  I feel like I don’t have any idea who I am or what’s going on inside of me.  It feels like everything about me has changed and I don’t even know what’s happening.   It’s like I am uncovering these bits and pieces of things I didn’tContinue reading “5 June 2020: Sex? Sex.”

9 May 2020: Breaking Down

10:57 PM Well, I think the last couple of times I started to write, I got frustrated, overwhelmed, angry and just stopped in the middle of all my thoughts.  Hahahahaha….leave it to me to just say “fuck…I’m done”.  Seems like my MO when things get deep.   Met with my therapist today…not sure how productive itContinue reading “9 May 2020: Breaking Down”

8 May 2020: Driving My Bus

11:55 PM I fucked things up.  It felt good…until it didn’t.  Having those drinks tonight…it felt familiar, comforting.  It was so nice to drown the constant anxiety, feeling of yuckiness…it went away for a few fleeting moments.  For just a few moments, there was emptiness…quiet.  And then everything came roaring back, including guilt, shame, andContinue reading “8 May 2020: Driving My Bus”

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About Me

In this blog you will find entries from my therapy journal. The one I keep to work out all of the big emotions, thoughts, and feelings that come from my life experiences. These are unedited (except for spelling and grammatical changes), real life, honest entries. These are the things that I think, but am oftentimes too afraid to say out loud. These are the things that make me feel alone, and yet likely resonate with so many others. And these are the things that I hope will help you to feel like you are not alone and you are understood.

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